She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize