But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
