My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
