bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
