I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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