Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
