Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
