So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
