i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
