dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
