and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
only you would photoshop your dick
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize