you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
