I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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