pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
