I just pynch a tree in the face
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
