I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
