I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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