Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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