Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize