Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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