You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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