i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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