He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
