I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am never drinking with the goths again.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
