Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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