just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
