I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
