R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
