You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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