Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
