I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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