Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
