in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
