how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
