yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
