By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she told me i tasted like america
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
