Little spoons don't ask big questions
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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