I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
