Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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