D3 body, D1 cock
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i barfeds in our rink
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
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