I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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