I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize
