if i can run in heels then i can drive
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
