Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
