i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize