I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
