the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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