I just cut my nipple shaving
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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