Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
