butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
