this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I could fuck to npr.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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