im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
