At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
