I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize