I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
