she was so not down for the gang bang
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
