im drinking this country out of the recession.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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