i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize