either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
