Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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